NightBefore
T'was the nightbefore Christclause Then in a twinkling
&allthrough mybrain I saw inmydream
raced everydeualcreature a creaturedivine
Noah's two of eachkind. with powertoredeem.
But with allthose pairedcellsluits A bundleofjoys
enteringmybrain He bore onHisback
the singlecreaturestirring looking likeapromise
was self's sad refrain. from an amnesiac.
Parent'smockings werehung He was lean&still
buythechimney with care in peacefulperfection
in hopesthatsalvation &learning of Him I wept
wouldbe thisnights heir. in grace of resurrection.
Kid'sparants allnestling He spokewithoutspeaking
snugintheirbds whilestarting Hiswork
with visions of eternalife filling our mockings
dancing in theirheads. with faith's supremeperk.
Mama in child'sbelief Then I heard His lastwords
& I in faithwrapped as He slippedoutofsight
had justsettled our selfs "HappyChristmasclause toall
for a lifelongnap. &toall blindfaith's blight.
ChristAClause
Wholefamily at fireplace of peaceprevailing atleast onceayear
singingsongs asif a grace everyhome in harmony a world withoutfear
before unwrapping thejoy of each newtoy withdesires as delicious as a jellyfilledonut
&rejoicing inthe wonders of the Babyboy beingmet in capacious corporealglut.
borntorule as memory'sfool Wholefamily at their ChristAClause feast
unchallengedbytransform's incessantflow prayingforall whohave the least
borne by vacation from publicschool whileleaving theirsalvation tothepriest
throughcollege to offspring's incredulousglow whilefeeding theirwants being foreverincreased.
BecomingGod InFaith
If I'm tobecome God Infaith I abide as grazingsheep
beingball won'tbe enough. never straying for shepherd'sake.
Sleeping I trust each angel'sbreath
Onlyafter I've traveledfullcircle to breathe forme till I awake.
my evaporatingsweat becomingsea ...............................
raining onwhat I usestothink wasme No lamb of God but ruttingram
will I become twostepsfurther making fatal leapofaith.
from reality. GoodFriday to Sunday in a singlebound
losingforever whatcan neverbefound.
Onlyafter I've traveled fullcircle ..............................
from titanium mine to Nolamb noleap nofaith nosleep
tightening of raquetstring noself tosave nosoul tokeep
to vibrations on contact for evenangels breathe foulbreath
with sun I alwayscounted asother lesself'shush beingall lifedeath.
will I becomeanother twostepsfurther
from reality. **Communion **
If bread be the bodyofChrist
Now foursteps from elementalbeing &wine His blood
you&I mightbeready for a duel or duet then let irreverence
becoming in harmoniusunion of competition be the food of lesself
witness to lesself as splendidconfusion washedown with the elixer
sometimes labeled in tearblurredeyes of humor.
as
KingdomOfHeaven And on yourjourney alonetheway
God beaware of what you wear&pack
Enlightenment forthere maywellbe a dresscode
Nirvana beyondthecross
or lessdramatically &more elementally &theonlywayforward is theonlywayback
lesselflostintransform. for the cellsuit
you leftbehind.
ToWeep
Until I feel myfullness ManyRooms
howcan I imaginemptiness? "In my Father's house
there are many rooms..."
Until I sufferself as Christ butonly oneFather
howcan I break my Father'sheart? butonly oneHouse
&noMother tospeakof.
Then bearingweight of allbeing'separation
my self beingcrushed beyond my wakingsleep Mayaswellbe an orphanage
training to transform'seternity to thoseofus willing
finally forgetting to stopseeking full parentage
can I begintoweep. &accept partialstilling
of the needfor fullfamily.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Always a newleak Always thathotsun Always this sameleak
till I lefthomeforever till I hadcrossed the desert onto brownivy below
to wander desert. arriving at sea. into cool moistair.
Steppingintostream Plungingintostream Easingintostream
eachinchdeeper shivering lungscollapsing heartstopping becomingwaterstreaming
backingoff for warmth. surfacingscreaming. lost toalldesire.
Givingthispresent Givingyou mylove. No givingtaking
toshow howmuch I loveyou. Givingyou mylife aswell. No amount of anything.
I hopeyoulikeit. Expectingnothing. Nothing beinglove.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LearningToPray
DearFather in heaven forever&ever Kneeling at altar perfectlycorrect Praynot to Father &/or Son.
never hear&now when needed idyllthreats commandingt littlerespect In nonprayer losingallreflection.
nameThyprice &I shallpray. fromself growngreat with inertia. Praynot forchange in randomrun
whenall asis is trueperfection.
Makeme otherthan what I was. Idols of belief&sanctity shining
Makethisworld fit mywill. orcould it possibybe Praynot to FatherSon orSpirit
selfsameSon of you&me? liveyourlife simple still &plain.
This You owe to mybelief. Still mypride preventing Hisprayer. Praynot for selfish lifeternal
Prove Yourself bymyrelief. within stark elementalbeing.
Stonepolished unetched reflectingme. Praynot for supernatural gain
Canprayer beprayer that'sneverheard letall that'sholy becomeprofane.
except in supplicant'shead?
Choice - 1
There is nochoice BeforeTheCross There's onlychoice when OnMyCross
where GodFather gave HisSon. Christ becoming MyonlySon.
Resurrected ourgate is sealed Before myriadworld He kneeled&prayed
only with truefaith ourbing is won. crushed by massiveweithtless ton.
Theris nochoice BeforeTheCross There's onlychoice while OnMyCross
alldoubt disposed ThyWillBeDone. desicionsbecoming allafterone.
Wighout mywon't His posertowield FatherSon yielding to countless thisthat
allpassion pu on autorun. becoming perfecthuman in imperfect aplomb.
Thereis nochoice BeyondNoCross
GodFather&Saviour simplyadding to none.
Only with lesself canour beingbehealed
breathingeachbreath while eating a bun.
Impotence RevolvingDoor
I must castout alldoubt. Howmanyghosts can jaminto a single revolvingdoor
I must create a ladderofhope. eachwanting (re)incarnation inthe verynextnow?
I must construct a Bable of faith.
I must climb that gymclassrope. The few thatescape hogging allthecredit
for makingme me.
All love mustexist beyond&above
&Jesus leftme to grope. Faith'sDesiring
Faith'sdesiring
If God couldhelp beyondnonsense becoming eternalseparation
He's prove perfectlove with His with absolutely
impotence. nochance
forlove.
Detritus
I poop. I pee. All tobefree Faithwouldpretend
of digestion'sdetritus. clear starbrightsky obscure
mountain's rushingstream impure
Yet myfaith causingconstipation fall's flagrantfoliage a blur
havingingested unrefinedcreed. wherein facelessface of loving
Suffering becominginsufferable beingblindstill
unabletopass selfrighteous screed. mute&muting
is
God helpmeclean my underwear. nevereverperfection
My diarrhea proving its notreallyfair eternallyfruiting.
tobefed what supports neitherlife
norlove. **HopeSpringsEternal**
I know women are expecting
Demanding more&more respectfor &helpwith
Demanding lifeternal childcare.
neverhavinghad a command
obeyed. But babychanging stations
below condomdispensers
Embracing an allmightybeing in men'sroom
unaware that I'mbeing of backroad gas stations?
played.
===============================================================
Sea
Ship of state&stateliness The two men meeting theirislands the same
devoured by incessantstorm swappingtheirstories each fullofpain
one raft two men survivingsame then wantingtoknow what it trulymeant
floating in sea beingreborn. taking parchment out again.
Survivors yes yet stilldoomed Now rainsoaked torn&tearstained too
carriedbycurrents to whoknowswhere. a differentpicture comingintoview
With littlefood &evenlesswater neither howto nor wherefore but picture&picture
noland insight for this sadpair. of swimmerswimming in clear aquablue.
Choosing swimming againstallcurrent Both staringlong thinking it through.
onebeingbold untrusting raft'sflow An example? A model? Notreally a clue?
searchingforland with will inhand Addingtheir thirdeye the messagewasclear
leaving raft to other who mayornot know. not that tobedone but this todo.
....................................
After exhaustingswim reaching land Sotheyswam &swam &swam &swam
salvationearned by strengthofdare neverseeking to setfoot on land.
never that neardeath now livingwell No work of faith but faithinwork
challenge beinglessthan he couldbear. takingthem farfrom palm&sand.
Ontheir raft friendfloatingalone Nearexhaustion with grassyisles tempting
distilling freshwater spearing freshfish keeping their resolve continuing thier task
content in faith raftbeing hisland till tiring beyond challengeofsurface
livingwithoutwant within his wish. beginningtosink but wouldnot ask
Watchingpeoplewave from islandspassing for handofearth or helpfromheaven
while holdingfirm making a smallprayer tosavethem from water'sdepth.
thatcurrents wouldbe his finalfate Swimmingsea of parchmentblue
that sea wouldn't askfor morethan hecouldbear. till gasping &taking theirfinalbreath.
..........................................
Till typhooncoming tearingtheirdreams In completexhaustion of will&self
destroyingeachlife ifnot eachlimb. stormofcling sweatofear Each man's land shattered asif it mattered all becomingvortex spirallingdeep
eachman nowfacing a future grim. in deepseasinking to clear&clear.
...............................
Survivors yes yet still surelydoomed Then seaswallowingwhole &sea smilingbroadly
carriedbycurrents to whoknowswhere. with transform'schildren finallyfinding theirhome.
On raft two men survivingagain Breathing life&light from life's firstfont
but thistime with a parchment rare. nevereveragain tobe alone.
To one instructions tobelearned Breathing air morerare of water'syield
on howtoswim to reach hisgoal. learningoflife beyond self'sgrave.
Butstroking in the wayprescribed Inspiring inspired by ocean'sownbreath
gaininghim nothing whiletaking its toll. havinglearnedlife from ocean's save
forthose doingnothing &neverasking
Tiringmore thatn everbefore forthose unwiling to stayasleep
cling to flotsom flungfromtyphoon. forthose tradingwant for foreverstill
Then doubting his read of mysteryparchment forthose enraptured bythedeep.
floating to safety of calmlagoon. .....................................
Weightless wiless lesself lessin
Landingonland feelingsafe again theirbeing finding firstface &lastlight
forgetting storms of heaven&earth. lightofallife alldeath &forever
Finallyfeeling hisfeet on terrafirma seeingthrough transform'sgyre
convinced that this was his finalrebirth. withnew blindingsight.
To the other the parchment was a map Epilogue - Reformation
guidingtheraft to whereHeknows If enlightenment be salvation
with faithinhand handontiller beyond both defense&desire
directionknown awayhegoes then beyondeachcross self'still sparkslife
&all lost in eternal earthwaterair&fire.
spinningfromisle to gyre toisle ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
in endlesswait for Whoknowswhat Grace by works or faith?
thendoubting his reading of mysteryparchment Intheland of this&that
faith growingthin in his confused rut. holymen get fat.
So settling on his landofchoice Trace of faith in work?
building a life to withstand allwind. Intheland of titfortat
Breathingshallow weepinginwhispers believers chitchat.
feeling somehow that hehadsinned.
............................... Racetotrain to still
intheland of the dingbat
being acrobat.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Eclipse Conjuring
Is theremore toan eclipse Conjuring gods
than relativemotion? for myprivate
abusement [sic]
Isit morethan believing
an astronomic lipse protection now
slurringlight perfection when
stirringsight canblunt mymemories
ofthose unknowning of suffering then.
mechanism's of
God'swill? ForeSaken
"Why hast Thou forsaken me?"
Let heavenlyobjects
bobweave&wink Atlast omniscient. Knowingseparation
intheir gravitational &itspain.
duties.
Atfirst impotent. Unable to judge
Let willingsapiens or punish.
gasp inwonder
at those miraculous
beauties.
UnPlanned
OhGod Youforgive Butwait YourSon Athome with a Devil
I'msodamned lucky. becomingTheOne dressed in a Godsuit
Or perhaps I'msimply damned? knowingourpain holdingourhand. indulgencebeingHisbrand.
......................................................................................................................................
Beingforgiven Yet grantingusgrace Perhaps itsourGod
demanding distance He'soff without a trace dressed ina Devilsuit
from a heaven totallyunmanned. notlonger toshare ourland. havingotten us Edenbanned.
..............................................................................................................................
Settingourtask to reliveourpast till distractedby
allunplanned.
WritLarge WhenFlesh
God as selfwritlarge. Whenflesh wasflesh unknowing I as soul
selfishness unknown being wholewithinwhole
"Theremustbe something burrowingshallow asif simplemole
biggerthanme" dig eat mate my singulartoll.
where me is language
&memory. Thenself becomingconscious innocence aboutospoil
conjuringlifeternal to overcomedeath
God as ultimate IAm desiringdefendingmemory asif life's onlybreath
ME ME ME emptypain fromthat illusorycoil.
sungtoheaven .....................................
thathaven forsouls Trainingtolesself thisnow nolongerbeyond
havingsatisfiedrequirements mutecalm livingemptied farfrommycross.
havingdone somuchgood My I drownedeep withinlifedeath's stillpond
inaworld of becoming lifeunknowing as humblemoss.
could should wouldhave
ifonly I had Forgettingforgiving self as sin.
known thefullprice Living lesseparate as lovewithin.
of ME.
Yes Assumption
Yes Assumption of ascension
you'll be givinguphope being certain lifeternal
tolive in thisnow. causingpain in sapienbrain
having relinquishedrecourse
Yes becomingrecluse in solitude
you'llbe givingupfaith of religiousfaith
tobe rewarded with lesseparation asif belief ourfated domain.
within thisnow.
God&Love
Yes God soalone.
you'llbe givingup eternalife Perfectseparation.
tobe eternallyalive Infinitedistance.
ineach moment. Ultimatejudgment.
Yes Love alwayshome.
you'llbe an atheist Flawedintimacy.
withGod's humbleapology Within arm'slength.
&emptyblessing. Tooclosetocall.
**Meeting **
Meetingchastity askingif Noddingyes I regresstotest Her startlingreply
she'd liketobechased hernamesake (beingironic ornot) makinghername a lie
&perhaps unchaste byasking quitecoyly "Couldtherepossiblybe "Notuntil webegin
bywith the likesofme. a boneofnaughtiness inyou?" toscrew."
............................................................................................................................................
Mysizzling ears beginningtosmoke Heranswer wouldyouguess was waytoohot
tonguetied tomycrotch barelyable tospoke "About fiveminutesafter
asking "Whatime doyou getoff?" youbegin totrot."
........................................................................................................................................
Soitbegan withthat quintessensual tart [verysic]
sadlygladly beingjust ourstart
whilefeelingher inmy everypart
as shecrawledown mythroat
&swallowed myheart.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Feelingmosquito. Feelingmosquito. Feelingmosquito.
Cursingfirst thenslapping it. Cursing calming thenflicking. Watching it begintoprobe
Flickingaway corpse. Shooingaway bug. then blowing gently.
Greenpier with bluechair Greenpier with bluechair Greenpier with bluechair
juttinginto icedout lake juttinginto icedout lake juttinginto icedout lake
waitingfor springsun. waiting unaware. framed crystallinecold.
I want tobeathim. My I wantsto win. Playingwithmyfriend.
Maybe if I trainenough If I want towin enough Maybe if I trainenough
I can overcome. there'snoway to lose. I canlose myself.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Manor WhatHappened? Jesus
LutherManor Over seventyears of rocksolidmemories Selfdenial.
fullofhope beginningwithPastorPless &MartinLuther. Denialofself.
fullofdying
steadfast Over seventyears of erosionfromtears Each stilledself
withinfaith. GodFather stilldoing.
GodSon
Snowfalling GodHolySpirit Trainingself to
through softyellowlight Spirit stillness.
onto evergreens whowill spirit
hold crystal'swhite gnosticism Jesus
till all tenants pass. mysticism canmodel.
Mind asreason asration I
Or untilspring. mindinbrain aspsychology must train.
.............. elementalbeing
Not thathere willbe PeriodicTable Second
resurrection physicalaws Second ammendment
icetowatertoseed evolution becoming
lost to allbelief. cell firstexcuse
organism to defendmyself
Not thathere willbe brain againstmyfears
rebirth memory &feedthefires
selfgone selfSelfSELF. ofmydesires.
transform eternal. .........
.............. Atonglast without a hint of Supernaturalbeing Asif religion
Finally snowing lowing no gods angels devils afterlives insufficient
leavingonly no beginningending guns making it
evergreenshowing no arrowoftime quicker
plight patience peace. rather transform being eternalnow easier
sadly with self separation sapiensuffering permanent.
tilltraining to lesself as love.
ChristmasTree
Christmastime again again with NewYear's closebehind.
Boy youngone oldone eachwaitingtosee whathey mightfind
inthis seasonlesseason of endlessdreaming
with years givingway to yearning
oneforthings oneforthoughs oneforallethereal
&ineach&all allin theirownway threebeings churning.
Startingwithtree proud talltree choicespilling quitendlessly
boy wouldcut kill&adorn onetree eachyear smallsacrifice
youngone wouldchoose makebelieve savingwoods payingoneprice
oldone wouldball&bag eachroot honoringnature thenlivingtwice
thus livingeternally.
Lifeitdid lifeitdid fromwoodedland to first treestand
oldone spirallingcountlesslights candlesburning inthis time thisplace
youngone topping tiptopoint with selflitangel in celestialspace
&boy stillstrivingforsmmetry placingballs socarefully
tillall islost tohaste.
Standingbefore proudtree proudtree resplendentlyadorned foralltosee
boysilentlyadding finaltouch a secretwish to SantaClause
younoneprayinig his silentprayer to GodasSon &ration'slaws
oldone smiling at father&son knowinghow devilishly thedevilgnaws
throughsymbols oftheseaon.
...................................................................................................
Christmasgone againagain pastyear farbehind.
Oldone youngone &theirboy wantingtoknow whathey didfind
in reasonlesseason of ultrameaning withlogic givingway tolearning
one havinglearnedthings one havinglearnedthoughts one haveinglearned tosleep inpeace
&each&all inthierownways threebeings settingheavenablaze.
Startingwithtree proudtreeproudtree rootsballed&bagged &now setfree
boytrustingfather tokeeplifealive tillnextyear's timeof forgetting
youngondhelping rebirthbegin inthisame&differentsetting
oldoneknowing life'sneverlost intranform's allembracingnetting.
Nowitlives asliveitdid from woodedland to woodedland
boy stillstrivingforsymmetry keepingbothfeet plantedfirmly onground
youngonepraying toskysohight whereFather&Son&angelsabound
oldonewatching starsemerging from lightfaintlyfading to newlightfound.
Standingbytree sparehumbletree unadorned fornone tosee
boyaddingfinal silentfact it'sgettingcold hewants tobewarm
youngonepraying his tooloudprayer thatall thatdies shallbereborn
oldonesmiling at father&son knowingeachdaynightlight ismorn
withtree beyondsapienroots&reason
unneededtree unheededtree
beingspirit ofeachseason
for nonetosee for nonetosee.
DessertCart DesiringLittle
Order these temptingtidbits Desiringlittle
from Truebeliever to Blasphemer. whathasChristmas to offer?
a. GodHolySpirit 1.
b. thisnow 2. Lifeternal dismissed as a chore.
c. GodSon 3. Lifewithoutchallenges probably a bore.
d. soul 4. Mistofpromises lost to risingsun.
e. gnosticism 5. Selfindulgencies toosoon becoming nofun.
f. GodFather 6.
g. mysticism 7. Let December come&go.
Let Januarybe simplynow (withsnow).
Sickness Let fancytreeswithpresents lay
Hotsickness - excessive passion. as parentspay for children'splay
Coldsickness - excessive ration. in thiseason of avarice.
Wordsickness - excessive thought.
Godsickness - being caughtdesiring Angel
protection now Fatherliftingchild
perfection later. placingangel atop
Christmastree.
Predict
Predict&cringe Child climbingstepladder
memory onabinge. crowningChristmastree
withangel.
Expectingmore asif historymywhore
beingpaid withpromises fromSunday's Teen questioningdivinity
worst morningmare. uneasywithpageantry.
Plan&binge on hope&prayer Fratboy unflinching
with promised divine tobeunfair in iconoclasticertainty.
to heaven'sfire &eachdesire Unmoved by tree.
I willdefend tomydeath. Irreverent to angels.
Or live withineach unexpectednow Fatherliftingchild
havingtrained solong&hard tobalance laughingwithglee
duringtransform's rollercoaster challenge beneath starlitsky
ifonly mywill willallow. next to snowpowdered
forest pinetree.
HolyPerson Arguing UnMoved
1. pastor a. contemplative Arguingwithghosts Interstellarspace
2. monk b. married over existenceofghosts withoutstars.
3. rabbi c. teacher Selfatplay with littletosay
4. friar d. celibate though its bombast neverlasting. Black. Withoutmovement.
5. priest e. ordained
6. guru f. counselor I choosing anotherghost God?
7. coach g. confidant from myplaybook of unholyhosts
8. psychologist h. righteous beginningwith mymost solemnoath Starfilled being reality?
toobfiscate allobvious.
Soften Defending
To softenmysuffering GodWants Defendingfaith
I needed toletgo God Godwantslambs forsakeof
then not rams. eternalperfection
myimmortalsoul. or
Noroom for reproduction forget oldgrudges
Trainingaway alltrace of transcendence in pageantryofperfection. &letgo immortality.
beingmy one&only nongoal
eachthisnow no then no when Noroom for adaptation Strewing
becoming eternaltransform'swhole. by geneticmachination. Strewingflowers. Showing loveofGod.
..................................
Searchingwall of fishinglures Godwantslambs not rams Rippingflowers fromearth byroot
until ourbaby begantocry. who might fuckup Hisplans. in purestlove of God.
--CONTINUED IN GLOSSARY 1 - 3--
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